Help! Someone I love is Gay! (Part 1)
Sep 28Mon,2009 / Category: Evangelism /
I remember the tears in my wife’s eyes when we found out that one of our closest friends, a person who had introduced us to each other, was dying from HIV. I also remember how foolish and hard-hearted I had been towards him since the first day he shared with me that he was gay. This was a guy who I grew up with. We meet each other in our church’s youth ministry, hung out together, we even went to Florida during spring break in high school for our senior trip. Now, at only 27 years old he was dying from HIV.
I didn’t have a clue on what to say, how to pray or even how to interact with him. So many times I picked up the phone to dial his number and my pride, or fears, got in the way and prevented me from reaching out. I finally mustered up the courage to go and see him when I got a call from his mom telling me that he was in the hospital. The sad thing is that by the time I arrived, he was so weak and medicated that he couldn’t talk. All I could say was “I’m sorry!” The most difficult and convicting part of the whole experience was being asked by his family to preach the eulogy at my friends funeral. I felt like a hypocrite. Here, for the past 5 years, I had shunned him, and did everything I could to demonize him in my mind and now I must eulogize him. I stood up to speak and I broke. The tears of personal shame over my inability to show Christian love to a brother in Christ who had fallen into homosexuality overwhelmed my heart. Eventually, I found my composure and did the best I could to speak for the word of God to a room of friends, family members and some of his gay companions who were in attendance.
I have learned a lot since that difficult experience 4 years ago. A lot about my own phobias and insecurities and a lot more about God’s love and grace. For me, the topic of homosexuality in the church is more than just a hot button, stimulating and controversial issue. For me homosexuality in the church has a face and a name. He was my friend and I missed the chance to minister to him in the time when he needed it most.
I think there are two great mistakes that we as Christians make when it comes to dealing with homosexuals. First is the mistake of compromise. The Bible is very clear on the fact that homosexuality is a sin. Passages like Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:24-27, 1 Corinthians 1:6:9 and Jude 7 paint a very vivid and clear picture of the Bible’s undeniable condemnation of all sexual perversion, including homosexuality. We must proclaim the truth of God’s word and declare that homosexuality, like all other sexual sin is wrong. But, I believe the other mistake we often make is that fact that we lack compassion. We have failed in our love toward homosexuals by condemning the sinner along with the sin. The Bible is replete with passages that tells us that God loves sinners and backsliders and we all better thank the Lord that he does, because if he didn’t none of us would be saved.
So the question I would like to deal with over the next several weeks is how to we minister to homosexuals in a way that is both uncompromising but yet compassionate. Stay tuned.
3 Comments :Deborah Homeister Dear Pastor Brooks, I really am grateful to you for your honesty here. My 29 yr old son has believed the lie of the enemy, that he is ‘gay’. When I asked the LORD how to respond to him, HE gave me such beautiful guidance! Totally the opposite of what I as his Mother wanted to do. I wanted to write out every scripture, buy him books and….well, you get the idea. But the LORD gently, but firmly said; “You lead him to ME , and I will teach him”. So….I simply said Ryan, if you genuinely want to know truth, you genuinely want to know what GOD has to say….HE will show you. Just stay in the Word. Shut out every other voice, inluding mine, and you just stay in the Word. Well, I wish I could tell you that the ‘Truth has set him free’, but I am still waiting. But I’m ok. The LORD has guided me and my role is just to love on him, pray over him and keep pointing him back to the Word. One day, Ryan will repent. One day HE will be radically redeemed! How do I know that? Because GOD promised HE would show love and mercy to a 1,000 generations of them that love HIM and keep HIS commands. And by HIS grace, I am one who does; so that promise belongs to me and my children and my childrens children. Glory!! Ronald Nunn I think the obvious answer is to minister to homosexuals with love. The problem is that an obvious observation is not as easily walked out. I think many of us have an erroneous definition of love & sin. Sin by definition is anything (acts omission, commission, and thought) that displeases GOD - not us but GOD. So I think we first have to stop behaving as though those that engage is such lifestyles are sinning against us, and that they are in need of the same grace that we are in need of. Think we also have to becareful not to isolate homosexuality from other types of sexual immorality. Our message has to be consistent, being mindful that heterosexual fornication is sexualy immoral also. Lastly, I’m reminded of Christ in Mt. 14, when He fed the 5000+. The bible says that “…He saw the crowd, and had compassion on them, and healed their sick.” In other words, He saw them, their sin and all, and immediately loved them. Then He served them by healing them and feeding them. Notice what He did not do. He did not try to “FIX” them. He did not tell them everything that was wrong with them, even though he knew it, and He did not send them away. He stayed with them in that desolate place and ministered to their needs. We see in Jn. 6 that Christ did challenged them, but it was after He had done so much for them that His love for them was obvious. But it all started with perspective. I believe that is was what Christ saw in the crowd that caused Him to have compassion on them. And so the question becomes “Whose lense are you looking through”? Have attained spiritual life only to continue to look at the world through carnal lenses? We as a body must first repent & then by the grace of God lead them to repentance. The bible says “it the kindness & patience of God that leads to repentance”(Ro. 2). That kindness & patience should be executed & experienced through us. Leave A Comment |
Melissa
October 18th, 2009 at 10:29 pm
What a courageous statement!
In a day when Christians either seem to take one of two stances, shunning or complete acceptance, it is refreshing to know that there are Christians willing to take on the complicated task of discerning with love.
I wonder what the “good Jewish folk” did back in the day when Jesus ATE WITH SINNERS!! Actually sat down with “unclean” people and ate. But if they took the time to find out what He was doing, they would know that He was making an investment in their lives so that He could effectively speak into it with integrity and validity. He didn’t mince words or compromise His view, but He sure showed them that He loved them. I think that most people don’t have time for that kind of investment. Only thing, God tells us unless we have love, nothing else matters!